Please tell me you did not just say what I think you said...

Gah!  I'm bouncing along a little excited about a fella I met online.  Trying not to be overly excited, just keeping it to a dull meow.  The deets.  Seemingly honest profile, good selection of photos that definitely don't appear that he's trying too hard (i.e., no parachuting, cresting high peaks, cats or bathroom photos).  You do know about bathroom photos, right?  They are highly annoying photos people take of themselves in the bathroom mirror that often involve no shirt and clearly point out that they are not social enough to be in photos taken by others.  Super annoying and a big turn off.  He's decent looking in a kind of cute, sheepish way, age appropriate, has interesting things in his profile about wine, running, travel, same musical interests, etc.  He seems modest and funny.  So, he messages me.  Yay!  The messages are kinda one liners, not very informational and I am not really getting a sense that he's actually interested.  Which makes me wonder why are you messaging me if you aren't interested.  I consult a trusted male source to review said messages, profile, photos.  He says "Guys don't send messages if they aren't interested.  Dude just has no game.  He's into you, but doesn't want to make the first move.  You need to either ask him out or start working it to get him to ask you."  Great.  What a relief.  I feel like kind of a dating moron since I haven't done it in forever and I think I've lost the ability to play the game.  I'm a dating bench warmer.  So, I launch a plan. 

I start asking questions about the interests he listed in his profile.  "You ran with the bulls?  Exciting!"  Actually, I think it sounds totally cra-cra, but to each his own.  "You raise chickens?  Interesting?"  I was raised on a farm and I can tell you there's actually nothing interesting about chickens, but this is me trying to work it.  His responses are more prompt and frequent.  Yay, my plan is working.  He tells me I appear to be cute and I should post more photos to confirm his suspicions.  He uses the smiley winky faces and whatnot, but what I'm getting from this is "I'm not convinced you aren't Nancy the dog-faced girl".  I'm totally not Nancy the dog-faced girl.  I swear!  But, who knows what these guys want.  I have standards as well, so I get that he's looking for someone he finds attractive.  At the same time, give me a break.  I have two photos posted that are good representations.  Just meet me and if you run away screaming I'll know I'm not your cup of tea.

Then, he goes and does it.  I mention I'm excited for my election party and he says "Election party?  For Mitt, right?"  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Why, why would he do me like that?  He seemed so good and clean and smart and like-minded.  I can handle a lot of things, but a Romney/Ryan supporter?  I actually don't care which party people associate themselves with, but in this election a vote for Romney is a vote against women.  And, since I'm a woman...me no likey!  I don't like turning this into a deal breaker, but I am pretty liberal and mouthy.  So, it's not like I just sit quietly in the corner with my opinions and nod and smile when someone supports an infringement of my rights.  I'm more like "I will pepper spray your ass and don't ever speak to me again, mf'er!"  I'm the type that happily imagines spray painting a dick and balls on Romney/Ryan signs in people's yards.  Yeah, completely sophomoric, rude, nasty and illegal.  But, it's just a knee jerk reaction.  I don't do it.  I just think about it sometimes and smile.  I'm all for freedom of speech, I just don't particularly want you to say it to me.  Say it over there where I can't hear you.  Waaaayyyy over there.  I live in a blue state for a reason!  I enjoy learning new things, having new experiences, meeting people from different walks of life, but I don't think I can handle a conservative as a partner.

I did receive a super sweet message from a fella that is passionate about SCA re-enactments which come to find out is where people dress up in renaissance garb and battle other freaks people for the glory of their kingdoms and to win the hands of fair maidens.  Ummm.  No words.  I have no words...